#just try and be aware of if they’ve done something shitty

[death-himself]

I feel like I should stop listening to Lovejoy as a whole, but I need a second opinion because I’m still trying to wrap my head around the situation /gen

(Also sending love to Shelby and the others who were abused, or are being abused)

honestly, it’s perfectly fine to take your time with this

it’s also fine to keep listening to lovejoy if you want, i’m not gonna sit here and pretend i don’t listen to a bunch of problematic and/or downright terrible artists (falling in reverse and msi for ex…) so long as you’re not buying merch or anything there’s nothing wrong with it

wilbur was probably my favorite mcyt, i’m gonna miss his content a lot, but i don’t think i personally will ever be able to watch/listen to anything he creates anymore. if someone acknowledges what he’s done and continues to watch/listen to his stuff, i’m not gonna assume they’re a terrible shitty person. just consume media critically, be aware of who you’re supporting

i never watched much of shelby’s stuff, but i really hope she’s doing alright and knows she has support <3

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

what I meant by my post about the boys not appreciating Yuu enough is about the trauma they inflicted on them and the lack of compensation we get because trauma=not guilty.

We just let them get away scott free without them facing serious consequences and get little to nothing in return. I got inspired by this post https://rose-tea-and-strawberries.tumblr.com/post/720285231576465408/justiceforyuu

So what are your thoughts on this?

[Referencing this post!]

Mmm… 🤔 While I do think the post linked is an interesting read (and OP does make valid points), I think a lot of it goes back to the nature of TWST’s design vs what the individual desires. It’s very easy to self-insert (meaning everyone’s mileage with the characters and plot will vary greatly), and with it being a mobile gacha game, there are definitely some limitations and design philosophies that must be adhered to in order to keep content flowing and thus keep the game profitable.

However, I don’t agree with some of the points suggested (whether by OP or by Anon), particularly that TWST presents “trauma = not guilty” and that Yuu should somehow be “compensated” or given something in return for the troubles they went through. To the former point, I completely agree that the boys’ punishments are far too light for what they’ve done (in OB form). As for their behavior pre-OB (which is, admittedly, still shitty)… I mean, we came into this game knowing the characters are twisted from villains, of all things. We shouldn’t be expecting them to be Super Nice and Empathetic to begin with, no? (So of course Riddle will be insulting Yuu’s background and lineage, Trey’s a bystander, etc.) It doesn’t excuse the behavior of course (it’s still objectively bad), but I thought we came into TWST expecting it??? Like it’s a major part of the draw…

I also believe TWST does a decent job at explaining the OB boys’ trauma while not excusing them because of their trauma; funnily enough, a major theme in book 1 was Riddle being held accountable for his actions for once. (This isn’t limited to just his OB behavior, but rather extends to prior; he was clearly harming his own dorm members well before Yuu got involved with Heartslabyul.) The OB boys were eventually punished for their actions, but because the sentences are relatively light, that’s perhaps where the “trauma = not guilty” perception of the fandom comes from. As I said before though, I think this can easily be attributed to TWST being constrained by the mobile game format (ie it has to be snappy); the light novel is able to expand on the consequences in greater detail.

The game devs likely don’t want to linger on how badly the OB boys truly acted because that could hamper their bottom line (ie endearing the characters to us enough so we sympathize with them and spend money). If they keep demonizing the boys or continuously bring up their literal murder attempts when they were fully lucid and aware of themselves (Leona almost sanding Ruggie, Vil trying to poison Neige), it looks “too” bad on the characters’ part. We also can’t haul the boys off to serious rehabilitation facilities because they need to be physically present to return for the subsequent book—and, of course. You can say “they didn’t get punished severely enough”, sure. But what exactly would that “more severe punishment” being called for entail, especially without disrupting the current story’s flow and not harming the OB boys further in the process? There are practical real world game design and business reasons for this.

To address the Yuu should somehow be “compensated” part, well… I’m not entirely sure if I understand it?? Thinking about it logically, what “compensation” are we looking for? Firstly, no compensation, in my opinion, is worth the anguish that “earned” it in the first place. Compensation will never make up for the mental scars 😔 Secondly, it implies that people are “owed” something for the general bad attitudes they’re given on a daily basis, which is not in any way how real interactions work. Some people will just be assholes to you, and we have to deal with it and move on. In the cases of the OBs and some events (like being kidnapped and basically held hostage in book 4), yes, those are much more serious and should be treated as such. But again, what exactly are we looking for here as “proper” compensation? Is acknowledging one’s faults and mistakes, and saying sorry for it and working toward being “better” not enough? What about the money Vil gives in book 5; is that also not enough? Where do we draw the line? When is it finally “enough” compensation? It’s so poorly defined and there’s no “blanket” compensation that would satisfy everyone and anyone 💦 I would personally be happy just knowing that the other person is aware they’ve done wrong and are taking that vital first step to changing. That’s very difficult to do, especially considering the pride of the average NRC student, so I commend them for at least doing that.

TWST’s story isn’t one that focuses on condemning people for their flaws and errors, but giving them a chance to recognize their wrongs and to grow from them. Its story promotes restorative justice over punitive justice. Overly punishing measures and reparations have proven to not smooth over “bad behavior” in real life; it’s something people need to consciously and actively work toward, so of course it’s going to be a hard process.

The reaction(s) Yuu has to the events going on around them are only as serious as individual fan interpretation makes them out to be. Official depictions thus far (manga, game, light novel) have not strongly indicated that Yuu has had any extremely adverse thoughts or feelings regarding the treatment they’ve experienced at the hands of their peers or any stress related to not being returned home. It’s also not clear (especially in the game) just how much physical involvement Yuu has in battles. Because TWST itself does not frame or portray these events as having super serious impacts on Yuu, that also informs the fans that absorb this content (so they, in turn, will usually also not take the story’s impact on Yuu all that seriously).

The interactive medium of the game (which is the main form people absorb TWST content by) plays such a crucial role in how Yuu is portrayed. Because Yuu is so inherently tied to being the player’s avatar/self-insert, there are limitations to the overt nastiness Yuu takes and their involvement. The manga and the light novel feature new versions of Yuu, yes, but these interpretations are wholly separate from Yuu (the game one). The manga and light novel Yuus can be treated as their own characters and not self insert vehicles, therefore there is a degree of separation between the player and the manga and light novel Yuus. This is why the manga Yuus are more shown to be more active in the story (most notably getting involved in battles). This is why the light novel Yuu is shown receiving more bullying (from mob students) than is depicted in the game. The manga and light novel are NOT interactive mediums, and they don’t have to worry about potentially alienating or offending players who self insert as the game Yuu. Game Yuu is intentionally kept vague for this reason; we aren’t necessarily meant to interpret that game Yuu gets as involved or is treated as harshly as what other mediums depict.

I really don’t think we (the audience) are meant to interpret most of the things (game) Yuu experiences as being deeply traumatic or scarring. In most instances, Yuu is either ignored or they act very nonchalant about what’s happening (groaning or joking about how “oh, not this again!”). The worst injury I can recall Yuu ever getting is when Grim scratches them at the end of book 5. They barely even ever bring up going home or the worry of not being able to get home (not counting very early and very late in the main story when it is plot relevant, or the occasional event story to shoehorn Yuu’s presence in). The game in particular glosses over any potential negative ramifications on Yuu’s part because endearing the boys (who often are Not Nice) to the player is an important component of the gacha model. You can’t have the players despising the characters because that doesn’t encourage spending money to roll for them on banners or to throw money at merch.

I also want to add that many people make Yuusonas to have fun and to escape into a magical world (which is likely reflected in the nonchalance Yuu demonstrates toward going home for most of the story); it’s far more common to see these lighthearted takes because I can’t imagine many people want to self-insert being deeply traumatized by the same magical boys they’re likely big fans of. If you personally want to make or to see a Yuu that becomes traumatized and jaded from what happens during their time in Twisted Wonderland, then yeah! Go for it! All the more power to you. Just remember that this isn’t a universal take.

All of that being said, we come back to something I’ve said time and time again: since Yuu is such a blank slate, you get out of it what you put into it. This means every person’s individual interpretation of the events and how Yuu engages with and reacts to those events may differ wildly. It’s all in good fun, just try to be cognizant of canon vs fanon, as well as others (who may have very different interpretations of the same events and characters).

[cabezadeperro]

oooooooh I’m so excited to catch you open to prompts!

I’d love to see jangobi + “I love you so much it terrifies me” (from this post in your inspo tag: https://www.tumblr.com/cabezadeperro/718494931255263232) if that happens to spark anything 😁

hello!!!!

established relationship, vaguely canon compliant/canon divergent. T, ~830w.

---

Obi-Wan pauses half-way to the laundry room, blankets piled high in his arms. The cotton is cool and smooth against his cheek, and the bedclothes are heavy and uncomfortable to hold. He resettles his arms around them, clumsily trying his best to accommodate the weight and the shape, and breathes in.

It’s weak, but it’s still there. His soap and shampoo, his aftershave, the specific brand of blaster oil he uses on his weapons. Obi-Wan closes his eyes, perfectly aware of the fact that he’s standing in the middle of the ship’s corridor with his face buried in a pile of dirty laundry, and not quite managing to care. 

Jango just left. He spent a day, two days, two days, three days and two nights. They spent most of that time together, arguing about everything and nothing at all, talking around all of Jango’s many secrets, but they also shared a bunk, and now he’s gone again and Obi-Wan doesn’t know when—if—he’ll ever see Jango again, and the knowledge has just begun to sink in.  

Obi-Wan has cared about people before. He wants to believe it’s always been like this, that he has always been like this: feeling too much, too strongly, to the point of distraction. But now the longing hits him like a wave, and he finds himself inhaling two nights of shared sweat, and his feet feel like they’re rooted to the shitty metal sheeting of the ship’s floors, and he wants nothing more than to travel back in time to that first morning, to two mornings ago.

He makes his way to the laundry space tucked in a corner of the galley and dunks everything into the old sonic washer. He has to jiggle the cover in place, and then he’s watching his own fingers moving across buttons, and the small room floods with the rattling of the machine. 

He could call him. They’ve never been the kind of people who call each other—too dangerous, too busy, too honest—but he could call Jango, and Jango would reply, and he might even be happy to hear Obi-Wan’s voice, to talk to Obi-Wan or argue with him or just listen to him ramble. Obi-Wan can picture the bemused expression on Jango’s face, that one he no longer knows or wants to hide, half-way between charmed and amused, and Obi-Wan should know better but this happened to him anyway and now and then he doesn’t quite know how to deal with any of it, or if he wants to. 

But he could call Jango, and he’d pick up his comm, and he might be annoyed or baffled or rattled or all at once, but he’d listen. Obi-Wan’s felt him reach out, hands still and eyes hot and something coming to life from behind his mental shields, blooming and reaching out.

It scares him: Obi-Wan knows very well that Jango has made it as long as he has by not caring, by keeping his soft parts well-protected. Obi-Wan has tasted his fear in his dreams and in his nightmares, and he’s felt it, well-hidden as it is behind Jango’s teeth and under his breastbone.

Anakin’s in the cockpit, nominally keeping an eye on the nav computer, in reality doing Force knows what. He’s occupied and happy about it, his usually buzzing mind as still as it gets. 

He thinks he knows everything there is to know about Jango and Obi-Wan: he’s met some of Obi-Wan’s previous liaisons, and he knows what to expect. He left them the main bunk room on the upper deck and slept in one of the crew bunks on the hold, and he complained about it all the while, but he didn’t care that much.

Obi-Wan waits until the washer’s done and then he takes out the clean bedclothes and makes the bed again. They smell of nothing. Afterwards, he sits down on the thin mattress and breathes out, closing his eyes. It’s a small, narrow space. The first night they slept there together, Obi-Wan woke up in the middle of the night cycle, freezing, half-hanging from the bunk bed, Jango hogging all the blankets and curled around himself, his back tucked against the wall. Obi-Wan can still feel him in the room—his Force signature is well-known, cold and sweet like snow or metal or cooling blood on the back of Obi-Wan’s tongue. 

His comm unit is in his trouser pocket. It digs into the meat of his thigh a bit, and Obi-Wan shifts on the mattress until it doesn’t. He closes his eyes and reaches out as far as his mind will go, the galaxy all around their Order-issued shuttle crowded and very empty at once. Jango’s there, one of many little lights, small and getting smaller. Obi-Wan can’t see him or touch him, but he can feel him, like the shadow of a faraway star, and it used to be enough, but knowing him has changed Obi-Wan, and now it’s not.

[lizziehatters-teacards]

Can I add or say something about your recent post? This one: https://www.tumblr.com/lizziehatters-teacards/768051097577324544/we-cant-change-the-past-but-we-can-make-a-new 

I do believe/agree that Wilbur's mental health has played a role in his actions and the loss of his friends. But I don't think or believe that makes him a shitty person. I believe that Wilbur is aware that his mental health isn't good but I don't believe he knew or realized how bad it was getting and how it was affecting those around him. It is possible those around also didn't know or realize how bad it was until this situation happened. (Otherwise, if they did, they choose to ignore it for whatever reason until they couldn't) 

He can’t change what happened, he can’t undo what he did/done, he can't magically change his habits, magically unlearn any bad or toxic coping mechanisms his brain learned, but he can try.  What does it take to change? Making and acknowledging mistakes, grace from those around you, and most importantly, time. Growth is not instantaneous. You don’t immediately change into a good or better person or friend, and lapsing back into old habits doesn't mean they're not trying. People lapsed back into their bad habits or their old lifestyle because that’s either where they felt safe, a coping mechanism, or it's what they know. Because even if you know you're a mess and you want to do better you're going to struggle with change if your situation still encourages old behaviors. Sometimes people try to overcome those patterns and they fail and that sucks, but what matters is if they keep trying and do not give up on themselves.

The best way for a person to not give up on themselves? A good support system, not one of those where if you slip up once then they decide you're either a disappointment at best or an irredeemable monster at worst. So glad he still has the band with him at least and was hoping (and then disappointed) that he would still have some of his MC friends. Everyone deserves a person in their corner -no matter who- and everyone deserves a chance to change. Isolating them or throwing them to the wolves doesn’t help them or others grow and change, it just makes them scared to make and/or acknowledge their mistakes. 

If you kick someone when they’re down, they may never get back up. Others sending death threats, doxing, and making harmful edits is doing nothing to help him, help her, or help others. All it does is stroke your morally righteous ego. It’s disheartening to see how many people think threats, hate, doxing, and de-platforming are the only solutions to an issue with a content creator, even ones who acknowledged/admitted they were in the wrong and want to grow and change. De-platforming should only be reserved for creators who are currently an active danger to others with said platform. (Like if they're sending/making hate campaigns, doxing people's home addresses, sharing private info only for hurting the other party, etc.) Someone who is making an effort to change is not an active danger in my eyes, so I don’t believe that they deserve to lose all the things they’ve worked towards/for. It’s also why I find it a bit upsetting that this was made public without any attempt to try and find a resolution in private.

I get and understand that she was hurt but bringing an issue to the Internet and throwing them to the Twitter/Internet hate mob isn’t the only way to hold someone accountable and I hate that it seems to be becoming the norm with how to deal with these issues. I know that Wilbur may not be innocent, but he's not some manipulative irredeemable monster nor is he an innocent angel who did no wrong. He's just a person. And people are complex, situations are complex.

Everyone has the potential for redemption or being rehabilitated. Instead of throwing away the people we deem as 'evil' without any support or attempt to help them improve, we should be trying to understand and support them. We need to understand why people behave or do the things they do so that 1) We can help them so they won't end up hurting others, 2) Recognize what the patterns and cycles are so we can break them, and 3) Be able to recognize the signs so we can help others and nip the problem in the bud before it gets worse. Recognizing the potential of people who do wrong to improve, encouraging them to do better, and giving them a path to a better future is the way we end this cycle and prevent the creation of future victims.

I hope Wilbur learns from his mistakes and does his best to rectify them. I hope that he doesn't get completely cut off from every friendship he ever made. I hope he works to regain the trust of the people who were once close to him (if he wants to). I hope and want Wilbur to heal, improve, better himself, and be happy with himself. (The same sentiment goes toward Tommy and Shelby)

(Sorry for the long rant, I just have a lot to say and nowhere to really say it, so I hope all these words made sense. Also, hopefully this doesn't sound or come across as me being rude or that I was yelling or lecturing at you, I wasn't. And I got off topic a bit, sorry about that.)

^^^^^^

Thankyou for ranting in my inbox,

I was feeling down when I scrolled through tumblr and those ccs of Tommy's song.

Shit made me feel some what shitty and idk what to expect honestly

[maoam]

Ramblings stemming from frustration with this fandom sometimes. ( Naruto. )

I know Naruto fandom has always been a tad toxic ever since it started becoming popular and such, but something about these newer fans who are so comfortable with d3ath threats, body shaming, sa threats, and d0xxing other people for the sake of a character. Fandom discourse is truly never that serious and the fact that they’ve become so obsessed with “ratioing” or “owning” other people that they’re willing to say absolutely vile things all for what… some likes? Validation from other gross people?

And then for these people to still say they’re the “good part of the fandom” or “the sane part”. It’s almost narcissistic for lack of a better word at the moment. ( not diagnosing anyone or speaking as if I’m some sort of mental health expert. Just can’t think of another word right now because of the headache this phenomenon is causing me as it is becoming much too common. )

They have this obsession with demonizing “the other side.” To the point of making false claims, which is insane. Or maybe they actually believe them? I can’t tell. They just spread whatever makes them feel good about what they like and don’t care about the source.

This is mainly a lame annoyed rant about the Hinata fanbase which have become somehow even worse within the past few days with their weird obsession with trying to get the Boruto artist (I think he works for sp? Unsure as he says most of his art is fanart but he made a like two or three official pieces that were on the official boruto/naruto page.) fired and sending him death threats for I guess just not drawing Hinata as much as they want? Like to the point where they were literally saying she was being “oppressed and bullied” by this artists. It was insane to see in person because you really would like to believe people WOULDNT compare a character not being drawn in a way they approve of to the oppression the people of Palestine are facing but hey, I suppose it’s a competition now to see how much of a bad person you can be for the sake of a character.

Also I know this is not just an issue in the hinata fandom, although the recent need to fetishize how “Asian Hinata is compared to that white girl sakura.” Is irking me a lot more than what other fandoms have done as of recent that I’m aware of. The Sakus seem to be their usual level of delusion and crappy attitude. Which is easy to ignore for me.

Does it sound like I’m making stuff up at this point? Because as I’m writing this I’m seeing just how insane this really is. This *shouldn’t* be real. This *shouldn’t* be things people say without shame. And yet, people just throw their morals for… what, internet points? The self validation that they defended to their favorite character? Who knows.

You might not even read this, I wouldn’t blame you lol. Just me being annoyed with how comfortable people within the naruto fandom have become so comfortable with being bad people.

My only real question is have you noticed an increase of toxicity within the fandom? Do you think this behavior has gotten worse with the ending of Naruto and beginning of Boruto?

I kinda get what you mean. I remember even before the manga ended there was apparently aggressive fights between Narusaku/Naruhina shippers, like the body shaming towards the other ship's girl and so on. And SS also were aggressive. But nowadays it indeed seems worse. I'm not sure if it's because we have new big platforms? Twitter and Tiktok I mean, both have really cancerous fandom spaces.

SS/NH harass official staff all the time, as well as other parts of the fandom. And then they act like victims because some people think Sakura and Hinata are shitty characters lol. Meanwhile they treat real people like shit. I think it might be because everyone makes fun of their ships/girls all the time, because it's so easy, so they become even crazier in trying to compensate, they try to harass the staff for more content for their ship, to get back at the people who say their ships suck. Also because so many popular content creators keep making content on Naruto and Sasuke being gay and Sakura/Hinata being their beards it's also humiliating to them.

Of course, they also need to fight which girl is the best girl. Which girl is less of a single mother for example. XD

"Or maybe they actually believe them?" Considering how many SS have convinced themselves that some moments that happened between Naruto and Sasuke actually happened between Sasuke and Sakura, I can believe them being that delusional.

"Does it sound like I’m making stuff up at this point?" No because I have witnessed it myself, plenty Sakura and Hinata stans on twitter have that toxic "bad bitch" attitude that they think makes them queens or whatever, they harass people and are extremely aggressive and think female character doing the bare minimun = queen behaviour. It comes off as very childish and narcissistic. No wonder Sakura and Hinata as characters appeal to them.

[marengogo]

Love your posts! why do you think Jikook are the real deal and not say, vmin or yoomin etc?

Dear Anon …

I will admit that I decided to reply to your ASK because I thought I was gonna be short and quick with it 🤡. 

BUT, GOSH DARN IT, IT WASN’T AS SHORT, NOR AS QUICK, AS I THOUGHT BRO!

So I apologise for all the Anons I’ve been respectfully “neglecting” for the time being 🙏🏾. Thing is, some of y’all send me ASKS which would really take me daaaaaays to reply, cause I’m big on receipts, so I MUST do my thorough research on EVERYTHING. Hence, as you’ll see below, I obviously underestimated this ASK I was actually thinking it would take me a quick afternoon, but it took me muuuuuch longer, between IRL schedules and me continuously reminiscing adorable jikook details 🥹🥹🥹 but, by the time I realised what I got myself into, I had already started it … AND … it kinda came as such a cute subconscient surprise, during a rather shitty week, that I couldn't stop. 

So … Why do I think Jikook Is the real deal? Mmmhmmm, let first start with a little correction to that question:

Why do I think Jikook could be the real deal? Let’s please never forget that they are not confirmed 🙏🏾

If you’ve been around long enough to watch a good amount of the boys original content, you might be probably familiar with the fact that the boys are all very affectionate with each other, in fact, they’ve all had “moments” and by moment I mean situations that are commonly shippable with each other, and if you’ve been around enough shipper spaces you would have read/heard that “x-member only does this with x-member”. Now, even though there are a few known things that JK & JM have done just for each other, that isn’t what I mainly base my speculations on.

What really makes me raise my eyebrow, JK-style, are the amount of times they’ve braved to test some boundaries, as well as the times they’ve allowed their impulses to momentarily take over, and, last but not least, the amount of concessions, understanding, and wake-up-calls that their members provide them with. All in all ⚠️IN MY OPINION LIKE EVERYTHING IN THIS POST⚠️ JK & JM have come really far, faltered quite a bit, dared a lot and have also matured as couple, just the right amount, given their circumstances. 

“Uuuuh, so … What do you mean by alla dat?”

Well, for example ...

It’s the way they publicly “argue”

The only time we’ve had a public display of an argument in bangtan was Jin and Tae for that stage disagreement, which they all sat down and discussed. Other than that, we know that the members have had many private arguments, some which they discussed as a group (HopeKook banana-fight … kinda … JK really didn’t give the members a chance, he told them and hobi reacted LOL) and some which they solved solely with the parties involved (VMIN dumpling incident). YET, JK & JM seem to have the need to solve many of their could-easily-become-an-argument-for-no-reason arguments in a very  let’s-do-this-right-here-right-now way, and perhaps because they are aware that they are very passionate during their discussions, they do make a conscious effort to at least sound playful at the beginning  🤡…

In addition, if JM is the one to start the whole thing, JK will try his best and so far he’s never failed to keep calm while at the same time try to divert the attention to something else, but in this type of situations JM is a bull and JK is, metaphorically, the only one drenched in red, so eventually, the members do chime in, trying to help JK, because I can imagine that facing a whole JM, int that state, can be something 😬 JM takes petty, and give-me-what-I’m-asking for-right-now, to a whole new level. If it is JK to start it, he knows he will get an apology, at some point, but he also knows that it is the most he will get at least publicly, because once again, facing a whole JM can be something.

Afterall, Let’s not forget they both chose B, during the scenario in the image below, so in a way, their little bickering is just not avoidable … 🤡

It’s the way that for example, in the recent years, the 94s have been “taunting” them and the way VHope know more than they let on, and 2Seok play along ... basically Hobi is everywhere  🤡

By now we should be very familiar with the support that the Tannies in general have for the LGBTQIA+ community, and between 2022 and last year, the 94s were very on point with reminding us about that. From collaborating with Balming Tiger to posting the lesbian scene in Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy during pride month (Joonie) or from being a close friend to Jo Kwon to having his Listening Party’s afterparty at a gay bar (Hobi), the 94s have been present (The Gay Bar → Trunk Seoul).

The Tannies have inside jokes to no end. If you ask me, this is one of the few ways they have in order to keep a couple of things just for themselves. For example, a reference from a movie/drama they won’t specify but ARMY will find anyways, because we on top of business like that 😎 … so time too much so  🤡, laughing about a picture on a phone they won’t show us and perhaps… the playful taunting of a couple they can’t out?

But why do that? Won’t it out them?! … It hasn’t thus far has it? Because I do believe it is part of the things which, for now, they are keeping just for them, for obvious reasons but also because I think that in a way the 94s are trying to create normality in their environment, and the universe only knows how important it is to know that your close ones perceive you as you always were, regardless of coming out etc, particularly in a society that tries so fucking hard to make you think otherwise. 

It’s the way we keep spotting random oh-I-didn’t-know details and the way in which we are made privy of non-requested good-for-you-bro! type of TMI

In the 1st screenshot (ss) JK wanted more pizza, but the boys finished literally within minutes I kinda wanna say second really, they inhaled it but this are the same people who gave away their album for some meat 🤡 and JM just let him have a bite of his, like it was it was expected of him to do so. During this same live, JM pointed out to JK that the champagne they were drinking is the only one he can drink or that he likes; and JK took note of that. How do I know?

In the 4th ss JK got champagne for everyone to cheer with, but didn’t prepare anything for JM. Eventually, Hobi would ask JM if he wanted a glass and Tae would try to make him drink from his glass, but JM would refuse on both occasions. This is the same live where we find out that JK’s mom prepared seaweed soup traditional soup made on a family member’s birthday in South Korea because it was JM’s birthday. So many details, so freaking useless to me as I will never be with either JK or JM in that capacity; but good to know I guess.

Also, JM is going to be your boxing partner? JK comes to your room very often? GOOD FOR YOU BROS. Like … When’s my turn?! That’s what I really want to know … 😑… 😩

… and so on and so forth.

I could go on further, but I really don’t have that type of time as of recently, but I hope you can see that what I am trying to say is that the proof is in the pudding, so to say. There isn’t a one ultimate defining moment, if there were, I would guess that only JM and JK would know what did it for them, what made JK think “Ah, yes, he is the one …” which i am 85.13% sure it is going to be a different moment in time for JM, in the same way they get irritated with each other for different reason eccetera eccetera eccetera.

Anyways Anon, hope I was able to answer your questions somewhat and that I wasn’t just confusing. Thank you for stopping by and have a safe and serene day!

Always respectfully yours 💜🫰🏾,

Marengo.

[sage-hendricks]

I and many of my coworkers at Rusty Quill have released statements and testimonials in light of recent discussion surrounding Rusty Quill.

You can click through this link to see all of our statements individually. For my part, I already shared mine in whole to the discord server for my independent content a few days ago, so now I'm sharing it more widely here.

Annie Fitch’s Testimonial

Finally sitting down to write a statement regarding all the recent discourse surrounding RQ. This is a statement I am writing and releasing for myself. No one at RQ has pressured me to write any of the following, nor altered my words in any way.

First, I want to talk about the allegations that RQ is mistreating employees. These experiences are my own, so please do not imagine I am speaking about any other specific case or anyone else’s story. Have I ever felt mistreated by anyone at RQ, professionally or otherwise? Categorically no. Not in the slightest. Professionally, leadership has been so patient, kind, and helpful in all facets of my time there. I obviously cannot divulge specifics, but there are occasions when errors on my part have directly and seriously impacted production. I always think a decent metric of how a company treats its employees is seeing how it treats them when they make mistakes. So how was I treated? Kindly. Patiently. With understanding. Above all, professionally. No one made me feel that I was in trouble, that they were angry.

Personally, these people are not just my coworkers and bosses, they are my peers and my friends. The inside working spaces of RQ are friendly, open, communicative, funny, fun, and easily my favorite employer I’ve ever had.

Am I telling you not to criticize the company? Absolutely not. I don’t personally agree with every single decision the company has ever made. It would be deeply unhealthy to treat RQ as above reproach. The problem, to me, is when people so desperately want leadership to be the villain. One big podcast and suddenly everyone thinks you’re Disney. I truly wish I could express to you the things Alex and Hannah have sacrificed, for me and everyone else at this company. Some of the recent discourse has been around pay scale; I wonder if you’re all aware that Alex pays himself the same amount as I get paid when editing? He’s got orders of magnitude more experience, skill, and knowledge than I do, but the pay rate is flat. A good leader is someone who will never ask you to do something they would not themselves do. When I train line supervisors at my day job, one of my maxims is “no one is too important to load a truck.” The message is to be the first on the line doing the shitty jobs; if you order someone else to break a sweat on your behalf and then stand around with a coffee giving orders, that person will never trust you. I can confidently tell you there is absolutely no job I could be asked to do at RQ that leadership would not be willing to bite down and do instead.

What’s most frustrating to me is the uncritical reception of allegations against these people. If you don’t personally know them, I don’t expect you to take it on faith that they’re good people. Likewise I don’t expect my testimony to their character to waive away all concerns. It’s disheartening to see people I trust, people who have gone out of their way to support me and the things I create outside of the company, use me as a model victim. I cannot thank these people enough for the kind words, the support of my streams and my music, and all they’ve done for me as a creator. On the other hand, it hurts me a lot to see my friends try to slag off my other friends on my behalf. Again, there are legitimate criticisms to be made, and they should be pursued when presented. That doesn’t feel like what’s happened; this feels like a group of people coming with preconceived notions, whether deserved or not, and immediately accepting anything they feel confirms them. What kind of advocate for workers’ rights doesn’t reach out to the workers currently employed for their input? When you wield your fandom as a hammer, the creators you support start looking like nails sooner than you think.

Even when the points were refuted, line by line and with proof, some people only doubled down. It begins to feel like nothing could ever be enough to turn some people’s opinions around, and that saddens me. There’s very little I can do to convince anyone, I know, but I hope at least some people can trust me when I say that the evil they’re looking for is just not present. These people are my friends, and some of the most honest and upstanding people I know. We can try to handle issues and disagreements in good faith, or we can keep cycling the same stress forever.

I know I’m painting a target on my back writing this. I’m not looking forward to finding myself on the other end of the outrage every time going forward. But in truth, if you want to support me, Twitch and Bandcamp are great, but supporting Rusty Quill IS supporting me. Supporting this company, critically but in good faith, is how you help me and my peers grow. It’s how you help us, all of us, do better. And for the love of god, I could do without the stress of this every three months.

I hope you are all well, I care about all of you immensely, and I am sorry if any of what I’ve said hurts or alienates anyone. I’ve held a lot of this back for a long time, and it’s clear it’s no longer helpful to anyone for me to stay silent. Be good to one another and I hope to see you all around very soon.

So there you have that. Guess it'll be interesting to field reactions now 🙃

Small note because I'd hate this to become a bigger thing than it is: I edited one single character of this statement to post it here! Gasp! The one I sent in had a typo where instead of "It begins to..." I wrote "I begins". Fuck I hate proofreading.

[pellucid-constellations]

regarding your answer to my last ask, trust me when i say, that outcome would destroy me too…

what you also said regarding the mating bond and reader has also piqued my interest. so, since reader isn’t aware of the mate bond between them and az, they aren’t able to form blocks in the bond that would otherwise prevent the other party (az) from feeling exactly what they’re feeling… it’s so devious (i love you i love your mind i want to get down on one knee)

our guy is really going through it. like damn. (damn). that is so much fear and confusion and mourning but not knowing what for from reader’s end that he must be feeling… and i just keep thinking back to the cliffhanger aftermath of chapter two, where he leaves in the middle of the meal… i know he’s anguished at his mate not being able to remember him while he must bear the weight of those memories all by himself, but i can’t help but imagine how shitty he feels following his sudden retreat.

i’d assume reader would be confused at his sudden going — disappointed in themselves for not being enough — upset for not being able to remember despite everyone else trying so hard — sad because they don’t know what they’ve done wrong, entirely, just that they seem to have done something wrong to send the one person that they feel is on the tip of their tongue soaring away. and az is feeling all of that. he can’t escape it — he doesn’t want to escape it either, not when those feelings that bleed through and overwhelm him are the one thing still tethering to reader (to what they used to be to each other). it’s at the very least still proof that maybe — maybe — something can be done and they’ll be able to move past this together.

(can you tell that this has become my roman empire?)

i do have some inquiries regarding the nature of the bonds… the way these mate bonds seem to work opens up the possibility of an echo chamber. if one party’s distress bleeds through enough to the other side, and if that other party is likewise unable to prevent their feelings from bleeding through, then it seems like the negative emotions could fester and compound. is this a possibility? like, from what i’ve gathered thus far, az has been able to prevent his own emotions from bleeding through too much to reader’s side of things, but if he were asleep, would he be unable to uphold the same mental barriers? (i am curious — i’ve got my detective cap on and am donning a lab coat as well to run some scientific tests)

i wish you the best for the upcoming week (and thank you immeasurably for entertaining my stupidly long asks)

- “as a treat” anon <3

Ugh you always capture all the themes so well 😭 it’s really like you take my brain and slap it onto an eloquently worded ask and send it my way. There are definitely some issues with the blocking of the bond (as we’ll see 👀) and that plays a big role in even more confusion and heartache. Which is why this is ANGST (which we loveeee)

I hope you have a wonderful week as well!! Mine is filled with a new semester and a million things to do which is why I’m writing to avoid all of that <3

[weak-aesthetic]

you know, i am really glad andrew garfield is finally getting some down time. he has been busy since nwh and he deserves a breather.

should said breather be with the shadiest person he’s dated? imo, no, it shouldn’t. however, he’s a grown man and if he wants to make bad decisions, that’s on him, nothing i can do about it. do i support this stupid decision? absolutely not, but i still support him and i will continue to support him. he is going through lot, like losing his mother, i believe he, like many of us, is still recovering from the mental and emotional issues the virus left us with, he suddenly overloaded his schedule and was thrown heavily back into the limelight with nwh. dude is grieving and trying to piece himself together and while i personally haven’t gone through losing a parent, i know what some sort of loss and heartbreak feel like and i know it can really mess with your head and lead to you making some of the worst mistakes of your life. now i am not excusing his decision to date such a shady woman, but it’s his life.

imo, she is more than likely taking advantage of his vulnerable state and using it to her advantage. i imagine her tiktok and whatever else social media she uses has blown up because we keep checking it out to prove she’s shady and that’s probably what she wants. she’s gaining viewers even if you’re viewing to prove she’s a shady person. now i cannot confirm this, it’s just my personal opinion, feel free to disagree.

back to andrew, i have been a fan of his since i was 12, i am 24 now; that is literally half of my existence. this parasocial relationship i have “with” him has been a HUGE part of my life, clearly since it’s been there for half my life. i personally will continue to support him (unless he does something that is just absolutely awful) and not blame him for choosing a terrible partner at this moment in his life. i have been in a dark place before in my life to where my decisions weren’t the best ones, in fact they were the worst ones. so to put blame or hate on someone for choosing a shady partner while they’re publicly stating that they’re grieving is, imo, such a weird thing to do. again, feel free to disagree. his movies and his interviews personally helped me through a lot and i am sure they’ve done the same for many others. like 65% of my personality is being a fan of his. people i barely talk to but who know me on some sort of personal level, immediately think of me when they see anything related to andrew garfield. hell, my phone sometimes automatically fills in ‘and’ as ‘andrew’ because i talk about him so much. he was my third most listened to artist on spotify last year. i won’t go on about my personal belongings that are related to him because we will be here all day. but to stop supporting someone who has been a part of my life in some way for a long time all because he’s choosing a shady partner in a dark time in his life is an absolutely wild concept to me.

yes, i am fully aware of what she has done and it’s really fucking shitty. she is, imo, a terrible person. she uses people for money, which in this economy, should be a crime, it really should.

if you wanna stop being a fan or stop supporting him or hate on him, that’s 1000% your choice and i personally will not fight you on it. it’s your life, no one can stop you from making the decisions you want to, even if they’re bad ones.

[hellsbroadcaster]

Being a good person doesn’t meant taking shit laying down btw.

Like I think just in general, people think staying quiet about how they’ve been treated to avoid ‘drama’ is the best solution and I’m telling you it’s not.

Absolutely be loud about it. Point it out. Confront them. How they react is out of your control but at least you said what you needed to say.

I’ve been shushed before. Someone who I thought was a friend really hurt me, betrayed me. It was like a slap in the face, and all because I was going through my own shit and didn’t have time to be there 100%.

And it sucked, how I kind of had to swallow my hurt. How a lot of my ‘friends’ knew it was shitty of them but because they didn’t wanna cause drama they didn’t say anything. No one did a god damn thing and it’s really something when you see an abuser get love and praise and be treated like they are this wonderful person when they aren’t.

And true, you can’t make everyone see it. I know they will eventually, and it’s not my job to point it out for everyone. And I won’t. But at that time? It absolutely hurt me, and I started to look at things differently. Look at people differently. And it left me shambles for a good while.

I would rant about it and people would ask me to stop. Or to tag it. Because they didn’t wanna see it. And that’s valid? But also? Why is it you can only accept me when I’m showing my good side? The side of me that’s put together and makes you laugh and keeps you entertained but when I’m hurting you want me to take it elsewhere.

Started making me look at ppl on here who only look at you like a number. I know we all are going through our own shit. I don’t expect ppl to drop everything and help me, I don’t expect ppl to care. If I vent it’s usually just for myself to let off steam and it helps . But yet, somehow there’s always someone that makes it about them.

Therapy has helped me a lot with creating boundaries. I realized a lot of the things that happened where my own fault due to, seeing the issues but not saying anything about them. And also how I make myself to readily available for people. I was there for that person for so much, even bought them food when they were hungry and couldn’t for themselves. I don’t regret it, I don’t regret caring or having a good heart. No natter what I never want to lose that side of me that gives a damn about people.

I do the things I do because I’ve been there. I offer a safe space , a fun space for you to be yourself . Because I know what it’s like to have to hide. Show ppl how to love themselves because I had to learn on my own. I am an empath, I feel everything and I sometimes go overboard because I don’t have the proper boundaries set up. But I’m much more aware now. Learning and trying to be more effective in my communication.

But it makes me sad when you do call out bad behavior and instead of people looking at themselves and saying ‘you know I’m sorry I did screw up, I’m going to do better’ they deny. They gaslight you. They bring up everything YOUVE done wrong to them instead of acknowledging what you’re bringing to their attention. Suddenly they are the victim and you’re the bully being aggressive because they can’t tell the difference between an aggressive tone and an assertive one.

And it sucks that you’ll deal with people who can’t see anything past their own pain. Cuz there is no dealing with that, that’s shit they gotta work on and unfortunately they gotta be willing to look at themselves in the mirror and start seeing the truth.

We all got flaws. I had to look myself in the mirror, and see a lot of things I didn’t like either. Things that needed changing. That’s maturing. Recognizing you’re not perfect, that you do fuck up, and being willing to accept and change it.

But a lot of ppl on here not ready for that. And the moment I’ve started my healing journey I’ve lost a lot of people who aren’t built like me. Whether it’s because I make them see things in themselves that they don’t like, or think they can’t ever be or what it’s not really my problem anymore.

I’ve been stagnant for so long, I want things out of my life and for the first time in my life despite setback after setback I feel like I finally start getting them. I can respect people who aren’t ready to heal, but I can’t stay in those situations anymore. I wish you luck on your own path, but I’m done putting myself on hold for others all the time.

You’re not wrong for wanting to hold people accountable. There are always limits of course. Say your piece and be done, don’t keep adding fuel to it. How they react remember is out of your hands but you did what you needed to do. People say closure is pointless and I say you obviously learned to just not act on your discomfort and just bottle it up and to me that’s sad.

Because we shouldn’t have to do that for the sake of someone’s comfort who had no regard for ours.

And I am confrontational. I’m a nice person but I will come to you with an issue if there is one. And there’s nothing wrong with that, one mistake doesn’t make you horrible. Makes you human. Changed behavior means you’re growing and learning. It’s not a bad thing and I wish tumblr would stop viewing this stuff as bad. Because it’s so important to be able to grow and it’s why so many people suck because no one is really trying to do that.

[thestobingirlie]

The thing that I seriously don’t understand is the urge to sorta demonize the Party and make them say or make them extremely rude and meat to Steve. I just saw a take in which an author says that they like to think that the things that the Russian guards did to him were much more serious and cruel and I wanted to like it but I saw a paragraph in this same post which said that the Party probably were joking about Steve being unable to protect himself during torture and I was like… I don’t want to insult anyone. But I disagree. Because in my opinion, the Party will never do it to Steve. They all understand what happened. They don’t know anything, but they get that it was horrible. In my opinion, Steve in this au (and in canon) could watch the 1981 film the Professional in which the main hero is also recklessly tortured and THAT could trigger him.

And these shovel talks aus… Again, I don’t want to offend anyone. Every author can write whatever they want. I just think that the real person whom they’ll (the Party & the older teens) give shovel talks will be Eddie. Even Mike will say something like “you’re cool guy Eddie but I know Steve longer. Just try not to do or say shitty things to him”. And when they also make Robin mean to Steve in this aus… it doesn’t seem right to me.

the irony is, people aren’t writing the characters as being cunts to demonise them. or even to aid in any kind of character arc. the characters treat people (steve lmao) horribly, and do terrible, ignorant things, and they’re treated like they’re in the right. like they’ve done nothing wrong. and that’s why it gets annoying.

because obviously a lot of the characters are bitchy teenagers, so they are gonna be a little cunty. it’s their duty! but we shouldn’t… like reward that good behaviour lmao. it should be acknowledged that they’re being mean, and they should be aware of that, and grow and change etc.

though i will say, the reason why people in the fandom treat characters like this is because we do see this in the show. we can argue that it’s ooc, and the duffers terrible writing, because they rely on cheap jokes rather than consistent characterisation. but there’s a reason writing the party treating steve like shit is so popular.

anyway!! yeah, i don’t think the party would make fun of steve for the russian bunker. and it would make me upset is they did lmao.

shovel talks are just a popular fandom trope that people love to force on characters even if it doesn’t make sense. if we’re being real, none of the kids would give anyone a shovel talk. they’re teenagers. the only steddie-relevant character i could see giving a shovel talk would be robin. and she’d obviously give it to eddie. (and people that write robin as being mean and cruel to steve are dead to me lmao. they’re actively hurting my heart)

[jasper-dracona]

Yeah I was part of a student protest when they tried to make it so that if a student joined a GSA the school staff would be required to Out you to your parents.

The protest was organized entirely by students, teens 15-18 years old.

We succeeded.

Teens are smart, they know more than most give them credit for, especially about themselves.

We all knew that even if we ourselves didn’t go to the GSA because we had queer friend groups or just didn’t have the time, that that space was integral for some people. And we were all hyper-aware that often, parents suck shit in some very key ways. Whether it’s undue hesitancy, just Not Getting It, or straight up bigotry, we knew parents can be shitty about queerness in a whole spectrum of ways. Thus, we knew that coming out to them can be actively dangerous at worst, and at best is something that has to be handled delicately. And we knew that them getting a phone call out of the blue from some random school staff member they’ve probably never spoken to before that their kid is queer was not delicate.

If we knew all of that very well based on easily understood logic about familial disagreements and about queerphobia, while the government didn’t, then what makes anyone think that they know what’s good for any individual trans person, medically? It is a doctor’s job to determine if something is safe for a patient, and it is a patient’s job to determine if some effect or medical outcome will improve their life or make them happier. It is not the government’s job to step into this very case-by-case field and start making sweeping rulings.

And then they’re trying to limit a child’s ability to socially transition by restricting pronoun use at school, which is really the only way a young person can easily experiment with and explore their gender to see if something makes them happier! It’s the safest and most reversible way to check and see if this is something you want. It is very often the first step any trans person makes because we know that Hormone Replacement Therapy is a big deal and has some un-reversible effects, and we know that surgery is permanent.

Look, I have accepting parents, but I’m lucky as fuck. I’m a rare case. If I had gone to my parents in high school and asked them to allow me to use different pronouns at school, they would have been like “why the hell are you asking us? If you want to, then yeah, of course. …Do you want us to start using other pronouns for you?”

But if some other kids I knew had done that, then they could’ve gotten physically abused, mentally abused, manipulated, neglected, socially isolated (switching to homeschooling or swapping schools), called slurs, or kicked out of the house and made homeless.

So yeah, anytime you hear a conservative of any stripe saying they’re “protecting” trans kids by restricting or regulating how and when someone’s preferred pronouns can be used, know that what they are actually doing is allowing parents to exact punishment on their children as they see fit by legally forcing often unwilling and innocent school staff to give up students’ private, personal information, which was given to the staff member by the student willingly and in trust.

But now it’s not even about Outing students. This will simply torment queer students and accepting teachers and other staff. Every day those staff members will have to look at that kid and think “I’m so sorry, I can’t. I’m not allowed. I could lose my job.” All because that kid’s parents are bad, unkind people. And that kid will begin to feel hopeless. Like it will never get better. And when people feel like everything is hopeless and nothing will ever get better, often the next step is contemplating suicide. Sometime after that, if the situation continues or gets worse, is planning suicide, and then after that, an attempt.

It’s fucked up and wrong. You can’t police language like that, and policing gender like that will only cause pain and death.

More detail coming at a news conference Thursday

Alberta will prohibit hormonal treatment, puberty blockers and gender affirming surgery for children 15 years and younger, Premier Danielle Smith announced Wednesday in a video posted to social media.

Smith said the policy bans all children under 17 from having top and bottom surgery, though bottom surgery is already limited to adults.

Teens aged 16 and 17 can start hormone therapy as long as they have permission from their parents, a physician and a psychologist.

Alberta parents will need to give permission before a student aged 15 and under can use a name or pronoun at school other than what they were given at birth, Smith ��said.

Students who are 16 or 17 won’t require permission but schools will need to let their parents know first.

There’s so much more, at the link. If you can stomach it, watch the video yourself. It’s pretty bad. It really upset me.

[sobsicles]

claire's not expecting them to be at the door. she blinks at the sight of four men all huddled on the stoop with flowers and what appears to be bags of food flowing from their arms. jack is peeking above a bouquet, beaming at her.

"who's at the door?!" jody calls from the kitchen, her voice muffled by the sound of grease popping and the clanking of pans and spatulas meeting over and over.

"god," claire calls back, because she likes to think she's funny.

there's a beat of silence, and then jody's sticking her head out the kitchen. the moment she sees them, she breaks out into a grin and saunters over, shoving the spatula in claire's hand as she chatters away.

"what's going on out there?" donna asks as claire escapes back to the kitchen to poke at food jody is apparently willing to burn just because the winchesters decided to show their faces today of all days.

"judgement day," claire says dryly.

donna shares a look with patience. "haven't we dealt with that already a few times?"

"only by association," claire admits, "but i wouldn't put it past them to bring it along with 'em now. the boys are here."

"oh, isn't that nice?" donna chirps, already popping up from her chair. "i didn't know they were stopping by today."

"wonder how sam's doing," patience agrees, wandering out the kitchen right along with donna. claire can hear everyone cracking up and talking in the living room.

trust the winchesters to shake things up just by showing up. can't have one goddamn day, can they? well, that's not true. in their case, as far as claire is concerned, they're shitty for showing up and shitty for not. someone has to knock 'em all down a peg or two, so she might as well be the one.

"what did that chicken ever do to you?" kaia asks teasingly as she sidles into the kitchen and stops by the stove, hip-checking claire out of the way to take over.

"the boys are here," claire informs her.

kaia raises her eyebrows. "like, the boys as in the winchesters, or is this a milkshake pun?"

"i can only be so gay, sweetheart," claire says, shooting her a flat look.

"raise the bar a little. could be gayer. you can always be gayer," kaia teases, reaching out to sneak her hand around claire's hip, her eyes bright with amusement.

"you know what? you're right," claire agrees and immediately tries to cop a feel while kaia laughs and dances out of range.

jack appears in the doorway. "hello," he says, whispering for some reason. "claire, i need your help."

"no," claire says, not even glancing at him. she continues to try and put her hand up kaia's shirt, just to see her laugh.

"can i borrow twenty dollars?" jack asks.

"no. aren't you god?"

"yes, but i don't get paid to be."

"well, sucks for you. borrow money from cas," claire mutters, settling in behind kaia as she focuses on the food on the stove, swatting lazily at claire's roaming hands.

"he'll just borrow money from dean."

"borrow from sam."

"he'll just borrow money from dean."

"borrow from—wait, why does it matter if it's from dean? just borrow from him."

jack huffs. "i can't. i need the money for dean. i have a card, and i read online it's customary to give money with a card. also, will you sign it?"

"you got dean a card?" claire asks, craning her head around to stare at jack skeptically.

"yes."

"don't tell me it's for what i think it is."

"mother's day," jack confirms unironically.

claire wheezes out a laugh. "oh my god."

"there's a pen in the catty on the fridge," kaia says, clearly amused.

"yeah. yeah, this is—yeah." claire chokes on more laughter and stumbles towards the group of pens in the magnet container on the fridge. she waggles her fingers at jack, clearing her throat, lips twitching. "hand it over, beanstalk. you're a fucking genius."

"oh! thank you," jack declares cheerfully, passing over the card. "so, can i borrow twenty dollars?"

"hell no," claire says. she braces the card against the fridge and swallows down a laugh. sam has already signed it. this just gets better and better. happy mother's day, old man, aka the secondary source of my mommy and daddy issues. you're going for gold with this double-whammy, she writes.

"but i need it," jack insists, staring at her with wide eyes.

claire shrugs. "tough break, kid. what, cas doesn't give you an allowance? is it just me, or are dads getting stricter these days?"

"i didn't think about it in advance," jack admits sadly. "i want to do it right for the holiday. it's mother's day, claire."

"i'm well aware. sorry to break it to you, kid, but last I checked, your mom's as dead as mine," claire tells him, her voice flat. he frowns and she forces herself not to feel bad. everything that sucks for him sucked for her first, so her sympathy levels are a little drained. "father's day will roll around eventually, and you've got a long line of those, so wait your turn."

"i've already done something for my mother today," jack says slowly, his eyebrows furrowed. "i visited her in heaven."

claire snorts derisively and passes the card back over. "must be nice."

"it was," jack agrees, completely missing the point. "i really can't borrow twenty dollars? i'll pay you back."

"nah," claire says. "who cares anyway? wait, why is dean the mom?"

"well, castiel is my father."

"ah, so it's about them having the hots for each other, then? really, kid, you coulda just made dean your step-dad."

jack blinks. "they have the...hots for each other? you mean sex. they have sex?"

"you know what?" claire points at him with her free hand. "i'm not gonna burst your bubble on that one. you've got enough issues on your own without wondering if mommy and daddy still have a spark, so I'm gonna leave that alone. i've got five dollars. take it or leave it."

"deal," jack says immediately.

money is exchanged, and jack looks like he's on cloud nine. claire's just stoked to see the expression on dean's face when he gets the card. it's a homemade card and everything, nothing like the two claire, kaia, patience, and alex got for jody and donna.

claire helps kaia finish up the chicken, which promptly gets set aside to wait on the rest of the food in the oven. sam wanders in at some point to drop off the food they brought. dessert, by the looks of it. pies and cakes that go in the fridge. it's kind of them, but claire would shoot herself in the foot before she ever admits it.

she lets kaia tug her into the living room where everyone is already at, rolling her eyes at how cheered everyone seems just because the winchesters happened to grace their doorstep. really, they all suck.

but also—and claire will never admit this, not even to save her own life—it's nice to see 'em again. it's nice that they've come to celebrate the day in jody and donna's name, giving them flowers and such. it's nice that they hang around for a bit and don't bring the world crashing down on everyone for the duration of their stay.

and, well, it's nice to see cas, too.

he perches up next to the couch that claire is squeezed on with alex, donna, kaia, and jack. kaia is practically in her lap, but claire is secretly glad for the excuse. while everyone talks and has conversations across one another, cas focuses entirely on her.

another thing claire will never admit is how reluctantly pleased by that she is. it warms her. stupidly, it turns soft and gooey in her chest that he automatically gives her his undivided attention over everyone else, even jack. but, then again, it's not cas' day, so she doesn't have to look too close to that feeling. it's mother's day, so it's not about him.

when the food is ready, they reconvene in the kitchen, and that's when they crack out the cards and gifts. claire is practically vibrating with laughter before jack has even brought his card out. before that, though, she smiles softly and strokes kaia's thigh under the table as jody and donna read their cards and chuckle at the messages, their gazes warm and their smiles sweet. they look happy. they deserve to be.

"okay, last one," claire announces, grinning at jack. she's starting to think she likes this kid if he's an agent of chaos like this.

and okay, maybe she hates him a little in abstract, but in detail, she finds that she does actually like him. you kinda just wanna put him in your pocket without meaning to, she's learned. there's too much to explore with the whole psuedo sibling thing and parents that aren't parents, as well as parents that are but didn't choose to be, only he did choose one of them, and it wasn't her. it's complicated, but underneath it all, there's a vibrant love there that she can't look directly at. sometimes, she despises that she's included in it; yet, just the same, she's thankful that she is.

"oh hell," dean mutters, swinging his gaze between alex and patience. "one of you...ya know? did we miss something?"

claire snorts.

"what? no," alex replies, grimacing. "i have no idea what claire's talking about. claire, what the hell are you talking about?"

"jack?" claire prompts in a wheeze.

"here you go," jack chirps, holding out the card to dean, beaming. "happy mother's day."

the expression on dean's face is somehow even better than claire imagined. she howls with laughter while sam buries his face in his hands, his shoulders jerking. cas squints at jack, and jody's eyebrows fly up at the same exact time that donna grins.

"is this a joke?" dean sputters.

"no, no, nope," claire chokes out, nearly fucking crying with laughter. "happy mother's day, dean."

"you gotta take it, man," sam agrees, clearing his throat and biting back a smile as he bobs his head dutifully towards the card.

dean fixes sam with a flat look and snatches the card. "you're all so fucking—sam, you signed it?!"

"happy mother's day," sam says, his mouth pinched, visibly trying not to laugh.

"do you like it?" jack asks earnestly. "i made the card, sam signed it first, and claire provided the money."

"i—" dean stares down at the card, then heaves a sigh and looks up at jack. it's clear to him that—out of everyone—jack is clearly taking this very seriously. he offers him a weak smile, then swallows. "yeah, s'great, kid. thank you. sam, you are dead to me. claire, i will be spending this on something you hate. cas, this is somehow your fault."

"yup, sounds like a mother to me," jody declares, holding up her beer with a smile.

"welcome to the club," donna agrees, holding hers up as well. "everyone else annoys the shit out of you, but you love 'em anyway."

dean sighs and clinks his beer to theirs.

[i-eat-deodorant]

> “I was bound to this wretched place by the Bishops of the Old Faith. They betrayed me and left me to rot.”

i don’t see narinder as the kind of person who is stoic and fearsome because it’s their personality or because they’ve never gotten a drop of empathy from others growing up. he loved once; trusted once. and it’s because of that love and trust that he was bound to rot for eternity

he’ll deny it until his dying breath, but that really, really hurt him. 

the thing about betrayals is that it sours every happy moment shared beforehand. why care, when all that care had gotten him was a knife in the back? better to reject everything good that comes his way along with the bad. better to keep devotion at a distance and a vessel as a tool. and maybe, if he never loves, he’ll never ever get hurt again. 

it’s easier to hate. narinder is well aware of this–he’s known nothing but hatred during his imprisonment, with years spent stewing in his own spite and misery. as a follower, he lashes out because in a way he wants others to hate him. he’s equipped to deal with hatred. it’s made him strong enough to last until the Lamb came. and if someone hates him, they can’t love him. and if they can’t love him, they can’t hurt him. 

> “You have supplanted me. A vessel no more, instead a crown bearing deity. Damned Lamb! I am at your mercy, are you to be a vengeful false idol, or merciful coward? No longer can you blame your vile acts on me.”

> “So, you are no different to me after all. You have become as I am.”

that’s why kindness, especially lamb’s kindness, goes against everything he’s made himself believe. internally, he knows he’s using them as a tool to throw away once they’ve lost their usefulness, much like how the other bishops disposed of him when he no longer wanted the old faith to remain like it did. he fully expects lamb to blame him, and to kill him–because that would be the thing he’d do in their shoes. he acknowledges everything he’s done is shitty. lamb should hate him, just like he did the bishops. 

and when lamb just…doesn’t? 

all the little grudges and justifications he’d built his worldview on just come crumbling down

to narinder, there’s no reason why lamb shouldn’t kill him on the spot. he was the reason why the bishops wiped out their family. he took them from the execution block, remade them in his image, and sent them to do his bidding. he betrayed them in the end, trying to kill them to take all the power to himself. and yet lamb’s mercy is an anomaly that presents itself with every breath he continues to take, day in and day out. lamb is supposed to hate him. the fact they don’t leaves him vulnerable

> “Destroy the Bishop and you break the chain. Break all four and I will be freed.”

but the thing is. the thing is that, underneath all those bitter grudges, narinder has always hoped.

he mistook it as spite at first, but there is no use in spite when the targets of your spite are gone and dead. his final goal was not to punish the bishops for what they did to him, nor was it to prove them wrong. it wasn’t even to gain power beyond comprehension, or become the dominant ruler of the old lands. he simply wanted to be free. to unshackle himself from his chains. to breathe air on the surface again. to feel the sun against his fur.  

post-game, he has no more use for the spite that had lasted him through his imprisonment. the bishops were already dead, killed by his vessel. he clings to anger because it’s the only thing he’s felt for so long, because there’s something to be said about trauma like his that makes loathing his one familiar constant. 

and everyday, lamb—this foil, this usurper, this nagging discrepancy in his worldview–whittles away at the walls with the kindest little paradoxes. 

when all the evils have been shed, what remains at the bottom of pandora’s box? 

narinder lets himself care again, just this time. 

I really enjoy concepts where Narinder tries to be all tough n stoic and fearsome and shit but when he's shown the slightest bit of genuine care from one of like 5 people max whom he potentially cares about he just

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[elftwink]

no thoughts only taakitz superhero/villain coffeeshop au. taako’s power is shapeshifting but he has a cool gun from lup. kravitz’s power is Big Fuckin Scythe With Unspecified Abilities. also there was no time to get into it but fantasy starbucks isn’t a real starbucks it’s a borderline illegal unaffiliated bootleg starbucks that taako and lup own. like dumb starbucks was.

By all rights, it should have been a fairly routine night for the Reaper. Go out, stop some crimes, arrive just in time to prevent whatever scheme the Mongoose had cooked up this week, exchange some one liners, make some threats that essentially amounted to ‘same time next week?’, the works. A regular Tuesday as a superhero in Neverwinter.

But Kravitz is tired, and more than a little distracted, so he’s not doing so hot on the one liners, and the Mongoose’s attacks are a little closer than they would normally be. He doesn’t even have a good excuse, it’s not like he’s injured, or that he has anything pressing to think of.

It was just— this morning his barista (who he may or may not have been harbouring a small crush on) had mentioned offhand that he thought the Reaper was ‘probably hot under the stupid all-black getup’, and Kravitz didn’t really know what the protocol was for someone complimenting your alter-ego was.

“I think if you were gonna go for the strong silent type, you had to start doing it months ago. Now it’s just acting like an asshole. Are you mad at me?” the Mongoose cuts into his thoughts, firing off another few missiles from his stupid umbrella gun (Umbrastaff, he called it, although it was a gun and not a staff so Kravitz had no idea why he insisted on calling it that).

“We are literally fighting as we speak,” says Kravitz, playing up the cockney accent, spinning his scythe to deflect the missiles off the blade, sending them ricocheting around the room. He’d said something like ‘how can you tell’ to Taako— the barista (well, they’d been on a first name basis for a few weeks, so, Taako), and he’d said ‘I can just tell’ which was not at all helpful in getting Kravitz through the conversation without saying or doing something to give himself away.

He’d almost given Taako his number, but how was he going to justify that? Hey, it’s me under the all black getup. Do you want to go out sometime? As if.

“You can have fights without being fuckin’ rude,” says the Mongoose, firing off another few rounds, which Kravitz deflects again, advancing on him.

“You’re right, sorry. I’m a bit scattered. Not exactly my A game.” As if to prove his point, the Mongoose easily dodges his next couple swings with the scythe, not even bothering to leave his range.

“Clearly. I mean, normally you’re at least close enough that I can feel the breeze from your sword.”

“It’s not a sword, and you know that.” Kravitz brings down the scythe in the space where the Mongoose was only seconds before, having already backflipped out of the way and landed a few metres back. Show off. Not that Kravitz had room to complain about that. The Mongoose spins to face him again, at least this time seemingly aware of what a close call that was. He’s tense, and his hair, which Kravitz supposes has thus far been hidden underneath his costume, has come somewhat unravelled, black braid falling to the middle of his back.

It seems... familiar?

He doesn’t have time for that right now. Kravitz draws back the scythe, feeling the hum of energy under his fingers, swinging again, and—

“Wait! Time out!” the Mongoose puts up a hand and Kravitz, for who knows what reason, stops his scythe mid-swing. The familiarity sticks, so it’s not just a trick of the light. It takes him a second to place, but the hairstyle... it looks a lot like a certain barista he’d been spending all night thinking about.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it. It’s because he has Taako on the brain, is all. Besides, he has other things to worry about besides seeing his crush in his enemy. Namely the fight currently happening with said enemy. “What? You can’t call a time out.”

“I just did,” says the Mongoose, fishing through his pockets and pulling out several bobby pins, sticking them in his mouth so he can use both hands to fix his hair. Kravitz blinks, still trying to shake off the sense of deja vu, but it won’t quit nagging him. “It’s a whole safety issue to leave long hair down.”

“It’s still in a braid,” retorts Kravitz.

“Somebody never took Foodsafe.” the Mongoose gives him a lopsided grin that Kravitz fucking knows he’s seen before, and suddenly it’s more than just passing familiarity, and how could he possibly have not noticed before, and— the Mongoose finishes putting up his hair, raising an eyebrow at Kravitz and his private crisis. “Alright. Ready—”

“You work at Fantasy Starbucks,” blurts Kravitz, without even thinking about it. The Mongoose stops dead in his tracks, and Kravitz can see his eyes widen even behind the mask. He splutters for a moment, and then seems to find his footing, already ready with a snarky remark.

“Yeah, well— your accent is fake.”

Shit. He’d forgotten. At the only time so far that having it would have been useful too. Still, he pushes it out of his mind; the Mongoose hadn’t denied it. And, well, he’s already solidly derailed this fight, so he might as well get some real confirmation out of it.

“...Taako? It is you, isn’t it?”

“Just who the fuck are y—” The Mongoose— Taako— levels the Umbrastaff at him, and then stops again. “...Kravitz?”

Well. Shit. Again. Kravitz doesn’t bother to affirm that; his silence is more than enough confirmation. One of them has to say or do something, but the seconds stretch on.

“You’re telling me I said all that shit to your face this morning?” says Taako.

“That’s what you’re worried about right now?”

“Uh, yeah—” Taako is backing up now, and they’ve fought enough times that Kravitz knows when the Mongoose is looking for an escape route; Kravitz’s feet still feel glued to the floor, even when Taako reaches the window, fingers already turning to talons around the Umbrastaff. Taako breaks the glass (because of course he does, even though the windows aren’t even fucking locked), breaking eye contact with Kravitz in order to swing his legs through the window before his form changes too much. “Look, this is like, a lot right now, and I— I’m getting the fuck out of here,” he says, and then drops. Whatever had been keeping Kravitz in place, slack jawed, ends as soon as Taako leaves his sight, and he’s moving before he has time to think about it.

“Wait—!” Kravitz runs for the window, but by the time he gets there, the bird clutching the Umbrastaff is nearly out of sight.

Well. That could have gone better.

***

Kravitz doesn’t go for his coffee the next day. Or the next day, either, although the day after that he’s sick of making his own coffee. And frankly, he misses chatting with Taako. Even if the guy was trying to kill him like once a week. He couldn’t just avoid this forever.

Still, the fact that Taako is working cash when he comes in makes him want to turn tail and run back home. He conjures up the memory of yesterday’s shitty coffee and pushes onward. The shop is mostly empty still, so there’s no line.

“The usual?” says Taako, like nothing abnormal has happened.

“Please,” says Kravitz, and then, before he can chicken out entirely, adds, “Uhm, do you have a few minutes?”

“My shift isn’t over until—”

“I’ll cover you,” comes Lup’s voice from the back room; she pokes her head out and gives Taako a look that is clearly significant, but that Kravitz can’t quite puzzle out. “Take five minutes after you’re done making his coffee.”

Taako scowls at her, and she smiles brightly before heading to the back again.

“Okay. I guess I have five minutes. Talk to you after I make your coffee.”

Kravitz nods, and goes to hover around the pickup counter, pretending to be interested in things on his phone. Taako makes his coffee in a ceramic mug, which at least means he doesn’t want Kravitz to get the fuck out as soon as possible, so that’s... something.

Taako slides the finished coffee across the counter, circling around to join Kravitz on the customer side as Kravitz grabs the mug.

“Lup!” he hollers, and then starts walking towards one of the corner booths without checking to see if his sister is headed to cash or if Kravitz is following. Kravitz does, though, sliding himself into the seat opposite Taako, hands wrapped tightly around the mug.

Taako speaks first. “To be honest, I kinda thought you would rat me out.”

“That would be shitty of me, to just sic authorities on your place of work without so much as a warning.”

“So is this the warning?”

“No,” says Kravitz, taking a sip of his coffee, “I... can’t really make coffee without burning it. And this is the only place for miles with tolerable muffins.”

Taako cracks a grin, like Kravitz knew he would. “Flattery will get you nowhere.” His smile falls, and he crosses his arms and leans back. “So. Reaper. Why didn’t you rat me out?”

Why indeed. Kravitz takes another sip of his coffee and thinks for a second, not even sure himself what his explanation will be once he starts talking.

“It didn’t seem... fair. You’re less of a villain and more of a pain in my ass—” Kravitz ignores Taako’s indignant noise and keeps talking, “—and while we always have cause to fight when on the clock, you’re not doing anything that I feel needs to leave the bounds of those... work hours, I guess.”

Taako is trying to pick him apart with his gaze; it’s something he’s been subjected to several times, although normally in costume, and in retrospect it’s difficult to imagine how he spent so long not noticing the Mongoose in Taako.

Whatever Taako is looking for, he must find it, because he relaxes a bit, and shoots him a lazy grin. “Plus, Mongoose related insurance just got rolling and it would be fuckin’ rude to take me out of commission before anyone got to use theirs.”

Kravitz laughs. “Sure.” He’s silent for a second, before adding, “You aren’t planning on revealing my secret identity, are you? Awfully rude of you to double cross me like that.”

“Wha— You didn’t even give me a chance to respond! Maybe I wasn’t!”

“Were you?”

“I was,” admits Taako, not even pretending to look sheepish. Kravitz raises his eyebrows, and Taako shrugs. “Oh, like you didn’t think about revealing my secret identity? And could you imagine the hype if I unmasked the Reaper? I was tempted.” He sighs. “But I figured then you’d have no reason to keep my identity a secret. No way am I risking a backfire like that.”

It sounds callous, but Kravitz has been talking to Taako almost daily for months; at this point, he can pretty reliably pick up on when Taako isn’t being entirely truthful about something.

“Hmm. Then I suppose it’d be in my best interest not to tell you that I wouldn’t reveal your identity even if you revealed mine?”

Taako narrows his eyes. “Why not?”

Kravitz makes a face. “It’s just in poor taste. I just think we all go through all the trouble to hide who we are and use these powers for good— or whatever it is you do— that it’s always going to be such a low blow to reveal who we are. There might be times where it’s necessary, but petty revenge is not one of them.”

Taako’s expression hasn’t changed; if anything, he’s narrowed his eyes more. “God, you are like— fuckin’ irritatingly nice. Fine. I wasn’t going to reveal your identity. That would be fuckin’ annoying to deal with. Plus I’m having fun.”

“Fun?”

“Oh don’t— don’t fucking lie to me. I know you’re having fun out there too. With your stupid accent and one liners and shit.”

“Alright, alright,” says Kravitz, rolling his eyes. “But I’m not supposed to be having fun, so keep it quiet.”

“See, that’s why I market myself as a villain. No dumb rules.” He puts an elbow on the table and leans on his hand. “Why do you have a fake accent anyway?”

Heat rises to Kravitz’s face, and he’s hoping he looks less embarrassed than he feels. “It’s my— I do it so people don’t recognize my voice.”

Taako laughs. “Well, it doesn’t really do that if you immediately stop using it when you realize you might know someone.”

“I was caught off guard!” defends Kravitz. “It’s not every day you find out your nemesis is your barista.”

“Nemesis, huh?” Taako grins. “Didn’t realize it was that serious to you. You know I have other heroes to fight.”

Kravitz rolls his eyes again. “I don’t see how you have the time, considering how often you’re causing trouble for me.”

Taako laughs, and it’s so contagious and the whole conversation is so surreal Kravitz can’t help but laugh too, before they both lapse into a comfortable, if drawn out, silence.

“So, uh,” says Taako eventually, “what now?”

“Well,” says Kravitz, “I want to keep coming in for coffee in the mornings. And I assume the Mongoose will continue with... whatever chaos it is you currently have planned.”

“It’s not chaos,” insists Taako, “I have plans. But yeah. And I assume the Reaper is gonna show up and throw a wrench in those plans?”

“Yes, probably. So we’ll just be enemies by night...” Kravitz trails off, not entirely sure how to refer to their by day relationship. Friends? Potential love interests? Acquaintances? There’s a few seconds of awkward silence before Kravitz gives up entirely.

Taako pulls and pen and a napkin out of his pocket, jotting something down and pushing it towards Kravitz.

“Here’s, uh, here’s my number. If you give me a heads up five minutes before you get here, we can have your coffee ready by the time you walk in. If you’re nice to me out there.”

“I don’t take bribes,” says Kravitz, grabbing the napkin and pulling out his phone to type in the number.

“That wasn’t a bribe, it was a threat. You don’t even wanna know what I’ll do to your coffee if you fuck me up.”

Kravitz doesn’t bother to point out that neither of them have ever caused any extreme bodily harm to one another and instead says, “So you’re asking me to go easy on you? I thought you were having fun.” He sends Taako a ‘hey it’s kravitz’ text before he has time to second guess himself.

“Could you stop poking holes in my threats? You’re harshing my fuckin’ vibe, Krav.” He sounds irritated, but Kravitz can see the smile tugging at his lips as he texts Kravitz a couple of skull emojis. “I should get back to work before my sister kicks my ass,” he says, standing back up. “I’ll see you tonight, nemesis.” Then he turns on his heels and heads back to the counter, saying something to Lup as he walks by. Kravitz watches him disappear into the back room.

Tonight.

Kravitz had better make sure he had hung his cloak up to dry.